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It is natural for both boys and girls to have rebellious tendencies at puberty. As it should be. Conflict with parents is due to failure to recognize the formation of independent thoughts in them.

The three best friends met after many days. Talking about family, children, jobs, businesses. Three of them have teenage children.

1) One of them said that he was very worried about his son. He said that since the age of 16, his behavior had changed and he was shouting defiantly at everything. He was angry that he who used to take pocket money before now is demanding it. He is also whining and hitting his mother.

2) The second person …so is our son. He appears to be listening but he is doing as he likes. How long will he walk around like friends? The cost has increased. He is fighting to buy a bike. He wants branded clothes and shoes unlike before. He is answering carelessly.

3) Third friend… not much change in us. We still buy clothes ourselves. There is no special selection for him. Even if we give packet money, he takes it without spending it. Don’t spend money on friends. All his friends use iPhone and Samsung sets, but he uses a normal phone. If he says something, he will do it. In a way, we seem to be lucky.

Of these three children, we think the third one is the best. But psychologists say no. Young women and men start to think independently at the age of 16-22. They expect no one, including their parents, to dictate to them. Developing one’s own personality and self-esteem comes naturally. Everyone wants to be different from the beaten path. If they get hit back, they will realize what is right and what is not. They like to smoke cigarettes, try beer and drugs. Except one in a thousand is not addicted to them. If there are reasons like father’s drinking habit, disharmony or disturbance in the family, they are pushed in that direction. Children of that age expect everyone to respect their thoughts and feelings. Parents resent being treated like children. You can’t tell them not to look like that. Some people hear everything and go in a way that they don’t know. Girls and boys try to understand each other’s mentality. They are attracted to each other. It should be understood as a natural step. Parents are trying to control them (possessiveness) if they are worried about what the four will think if the male and female get back together and love is budding.

Frank Sulloway, a psychologist, mentioned in the book Born to Rebel that if there are two children in the house, the tendency of rebellion is more in the younger ones. All this is a natural conflict that occurs in the process of growing up, he said.

And the third young man… should be considered backward in the personality structure of using the words of his grandparents. Those who always wait for someone else’s orders without natural contempt may not fail in life but will not grow as leaders. Always working under the leadership/supervision of someone else. First the parents do what the wife says. If the wife is also a person who can’t give guidance, she will do what the boss tells her in the office. Don’t get too excited about anything. Can’t take decisions on their own. People blindly believe what they see in daily newspapers and social media.

What can be said is that it is natural for both boys and girls to have rebellious tendencies at puberty. As it should be. Conflict with parents is due to failure to recognize the formation of independent thoughts in them. If parents are friends and respect children’s opinions, there will be no misunderstandings. At the age of 23-25, most young adults personify parental adoration. They are also seen apologizing for their foolishness at that time. I have written this post for the awareness of parents. The complex psyche of a growing child is not fully addressed.

(This article is collected from the Facebook wall of Senior Journalist Bt. Govinda Reddy)

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